I’m still in shock over how quickly the last year has flown by. What did you accomplish in 2011? More importantly, what are you GOING to accomplish in 2012? I for one, have big plans, like always!
As you know, I had some deeply personal issues/struggles that needed to be dealt with over the last couple of months. I took a hiatus from this blog, as well as from much of my life. Ironically, around the time I was struggling so much, the Mormon Message video I had been involved in came out.
What a beautiful message, right? What a heartfelt, uplifting video. For me, however, it was torture.
I felt like a complete hypocrite, especially when people praised me for my small part in the film. What right did/do I have to play a part in something like this, to promote something like this when my very own heart was “failing me for fear”? When my own testimony was struggling? When I couldn’t find a grateful bone in my body? I thought God must be disgusted with me for the hypocritical nature of it all.
Some time has passed since the video came out, and since I began facing my many demons and life situations, and I have finally found a measure of peace. I think I have found a focus for myself, my marriage, and my life again, and I hope to stay on the path I have tried to lay out. Of course I know there are going to be detours along the way, and I hope to be able to handle those better in 2012 than I did this last year. Life is that…life, and I’ve got to learn to roll with the punches!
One of the things I pondered over was this very blog, and I feel good about the direction I plan to take it. I am excited to see what unfolds here. I hope you’ll be patient with me as I unroll new ideas, learn to do things differently, and work to improve your experience.
So…I survived 2011.
And I’m scared to death for 2012…ha ha!
Happy New Year, friends.:-)